So my mom and I just got done peeling a bloody cat off the road who had just been run over, God bless his little heart...all thanks to this crazy old bitch who has 20 cats that lives on my street. So I banged so hard on her door that if she were home she would have had a heart attack.. unfortunately she wasn't. So my happy ass is getting up at 8 in the morning to take a box containing an innocent dead cat to show her what she is responsible for. I don't fucking understand people. Where do people get off being cruel to animals? If you own animals and you neglect them, you are an animal abuser. If you wear fur like all you trashy girls wear, then your existence is a grave mistake. Fur is for animals.. not fashion. If you buy a dog from a puppy mill, you are funding cruelty. And the next time you use Crest or Clairol or Suave.. you paid for rabbits to spend their entire lives with their heads sticking out of boxes and day after day have mascara and mouthwash rubbed in their eyes. If you eat animals, you are guilty of murder. The Bible says "Thou shalt not kill".. not "Thou shalt not kill people, but thou shall kill animals." I feel no pity for these people and the consequences they will suffer in this life and the next. It actually brings a smile to my face. I am writing this with pure hatred in my heart, but I mean every fucking word of it. I can't stand the fact that I live in a society that is the way ours is. I hate it! Its embarassing, its painful, and WE ARE SMARTER THAN THIS. The problem is is that people have this comfortable distance from the traps and slaughterhouses that they can't make the connection between their steak and the cows in the fields. Ignorance is an epidemic.. not bliss. God gave us the ability to think..not sit around with our thumbs in our asses and a chicken's arm in our mouth. Wake up and realize that every little thing you do in your daily life causes a ripple effect. @%&*#$!!!!! [sorry.. I had to vent.]

You Have No Idea

Granted it was a year and a half ago [give or take], not a day goes by that I don't think about my accident. In case you have absolutely no idea what I'm talking about, in March of last year I was in a serious motorcycle accident. We were going 90 mph and lost control and, well, needless to say it wasn't pretty. Something like that doesn't simply escape someone's memory. Quite often I have nightmares about it.. it just sort of plays over and over in my head. I thank God everyday that I'm alive, and my scars are a constant, haunting reminder that there is a reason I'm still here. Unfortunately, this does not change the fact that when I think about the wreck, it literally shakes me to my core. I know first hand what it feels like to think you are about to die, and I can tell you with 100% certainty that you have no idea what fear, helplessness, or terror feels like until you have felt this feeling. It is the most overwhelming, terrifying feeling a person can ever feel.. and it changes you. If you are lucky enough to survive, you realize things. You realize that inane things in life really don't matter.. getting your nails done, the drama, not having those concert tickets you want so desperately.. it simply does not matter. In retrospect, had I have.. well, you know.. I would have left a lot of things unfinished. I wouldn't have gotten to tell my family that I loved them that one last time. The last thing I told my mother before I went to Atlanta that spring break was that I would be as careful as possible. I wouldn't have been able to accomplish the things in life I strive so hard to achieve. I was just like everyone else my age, I felt invincible. Nothing could touch me.. none of these terrible things you hear about on tv would ever happen to me. But sliding across asphalt at 90 mph changes that. To hear doctors, lawyers, friends, and family tell you that, given the circumstances, you should be dead.. it changes everything about you. Though I may be scarred in many more ways than one, I'm stronger for it. I'm not the person I was before I got on that bike. To tell you the truth, I don't want to be that girl. As morbid as it may be, I can't help but think what life would be like had I died that night. I would have left my best friend, my mother, with nothing. My father would have lost his pride and joy, as would've the rest of my family. Talk about a guilty conscience. When all is said and done.. don't take your life for granted. Nothing is guaranteed except death and taxes.

Ain't theft grand?

I hate sketchy people. I despise them. If you need to steal from someone or cheat them out of money, then get a damn job. It is so dishonest and insulting. As I sit here, pissed off and screwed over, the shitty people are laughing it off. This is the third time in my life I have been monetarily fucked by undeserving, drug addicted assholes. I think there should be three additional unwritten laws amended into the laws of human interaction: 1. Don't break into someone's car and steal all their shit. 2. Don't take advantage of a friend under the influence of what have you and steal their recently cashed paycheck. And 3, don't cheat people out of money and then lie to their face when confronted. Karma is a bitch. Whether this is my karma backfiring, or the beginning of his.. karma is a bitch.

"That" Guy

In my personal experience, I have found that two opposing forms of "that" guy exist in our society. On one end of the spectrum, there is "that" guy that is a cut above the rest. He seems to be almost flawless. Usually that flaw is either a significant other, he's gay, or he's just not that into you. For whatever reason, he tends to get the most of your attention. He becomes this intriguing, unattainable object of your affection. You find yourself playing mind games and doing things most would, under normal circumstances, be considered out of character. On the other end of the spectrum, there is the dreadful "that" guy. The one that may be a bit attractive, if you are lucky, but simply isn't for you. He will bend over backwards to get your attention. With the incessant text messages and voicemails consistently being ignored, one would think he would get the hint. But I am convinced this type of man is lacking the cognitive ability to recognize the red flags flying up right and left. If you are anything like me, you don't have the heart to break his seemingly unbreakable will. Simultaneously, I hold no feelings other than those of pity and irritation. Why is it that we always want what we can't have? Can we still blame it on the good ole' basic animal instinct of the thrill of the chase? Or have we evolved into emotionally famished beings demanding the right to have our cake and eat it, too? It seems that nothing is ever good enough. I can't help but wondering if the problem truly lies in "that" guy, but rather in us. Ideally, women prefer the middle ground. I have yet to find him, but he's somewhere. If you are in the same boat as me, I bid you happy hunting.

20 Things You Should Know About Me

1. I'm a vegetarian.
2. Music is my life.
3. I'm helplessly addicted to cigarettes.
4. I refuse to be just another twentysomething.
5. I'm a strong advocate of animal rights. (I think ALF has the right idea.)
6. I'm teaching myself to play the guitar.
7. I am the proverbial college student.
8. I am faithful in my convictions.
9. I don't trust people very much.
10. I am planning my escape from this wretched town.
11. I believe there is a God, but sometimes, in certain situations, wonder where He is.
12. I oppose the war, Bush, and our entire government.
13. I go out of my way to buy products that have not been tested on animals.
14. I don't vote. I see it as choosing the lesser of two evils.
15. I'll go down swinging.
16. Running is my therapy.
17. My mom is my best friend.
18. I have a love/hate relationship with life.
19. I want to change the world.

and finally..
20. I'd rather be at the beach.

The Inevitable Change

When you become friends with someone, you don't really realize it's happening. In essence, you stand idly by while your subconscious connects with another. You've found a new partner in crime. It's blissfully simple. After that, its a crap shoot if you ask me. Eventually, the friendship will end. This process, however, isn't as effortless. This time you see it coming. It becomes a big part of your life, albeit temporary. The painful side effects of false accusations, betrayal, lack of faith, and wasted trust are dauntlingly obvious. Where did it all go wrong? Is it an accumulated stigma your friends unconsciously make towards each other that is a ticking time bomb just waiting to explode and blow you and your friends apart? Had you known this is how things would end, would you change anything? Probably. The sad reality is that you can't, so coulda woulda shoulda. All we can do is take bits and pieces with us along the way and learn from our mistakes. I am painfully aware that this is much easier said than done, considering the difficulty in accepting your faults in the situation. How deep can a friendship go? Based on the human race's track record, they obviously lack the strength to survive men, tragic mistakes, and, well... men. As far as I'm concerned, a friendship that will go down swinging when a man comes between you is definitely a keeper.